HOW TO HANDLE TOXIC PARTNERS

How can you know if your partner is toxic? How can you manage such a partner? We shall start with identifying a toxic partner before delving into how they can be managed.

Signs of a toxic partner

A toxic partner will naturally not give you peace. They will always, or at least most of the time, find a way of blaming, mud-slinging, or criticizing you bitterly. In some cases, you can even side with them and blame yourself for no reason. But here are some signs of  a toxic partner: 

They get annoyed frequently and easily: The person resorts to anger at almost anything you do. Even when they are at fault, it will always turn around on you. 

They mock you publicly: When you are at fault, they will mock you in public with no restraint. In some cases, even enjoy it like they get paid for it.

Constantly complaining: They always have some issue to bitterly complain about against you. In some cases, it is over issues you are not even aware of.  

They pick faults at every opportunity: Even when you handle a matter with a pure heart, they will find a fault somewhere. 

Manipulating you whenever they have a chance: They will always try to manipulate you into getting money, favors, sex, or anything they want. 

They are controlling and have no boundaries: They will usually try to control you without recognizing your boundaries. In most cases, even demeaning you without cause. 

They are possessive and demanding: They can be very possessive and demanding, even when it is at the expense of your dignity and peace. 

Lacking respect for you: They are usually disrespectful, vulgar, demeaning, and loud. 

How to handle toxic partners 

The first step to handling toxic partners is recognizing that you are not the problem. Secondly, you also need to accept that they are toxic and it's not your fault. Then you can try the following tips: 

Understand the root cause of their toxicity: Instead of getting pissed off and attempting to retaliate, try to understand the real issue. Some come from backgrounds where they were abused, neglected, or even tortured for a long time. Others have come from a past with trauma that they have not healed from. Regardless, when you understand their real problem, you can assist them in seeking out some workable solutions.

Stay out of harm's way: As long as you have come to understand their nature, do not get drawn into their toxic nature. When those moments arise, refrain from taking their actions to heart or retaliating. Never allow their toxic words and actions to get to you. 

Encourage them to seek help: Toxicity at its peak is a mental health issue. Encourage them to seek help from a professional therapist. Do not wait until you have been harmed. When you take too long, you leave room for more abuse and torment.

Take care of your mental health first: Toxic people can easily drive you to start feeling insane. Find time to be with yourself around positive people for the sake of your sanity. If you have endured this for a long time, you may even need to seek help from a therapist or counselor.  

Don't toil to change them: A toxic person makes that decision on their own. You cannot change them against their will. It is their decision to make. Otherwise, you will end up frustrated and drained in vain. Avoid taking the role of a therapist or counselor. This will just wear you out in no time. 

Know when to walk away safely: Look at the circumstances and make a decision. If the atmosphere is not safe for you, and there is no hope, walk away. It's usually safer to walk away earlier than wait until it is too late. 

Tolerate them, but do not shift your boundaries for them: This is where most people miss it. By moving your boundaries, you should be ready to continue moving those boundaries going forward. They will not even recognize your sacrifice. Instead, they may eventually even use that as a weapon against you. Mark your boundaries and stick to them.