The Right View Of Competition In Relationships

On their engagement day, Joseph bought a very expensive car for his fiance. The following day, his best friend also went and bought two of the same expensive cars for his wife! Was this expense really necessary? Is competition always wrong? When can competition end up going too far? What is the balanced view of competition in relationships and marriages?

Is Competition always wrong in relationships?
Competition, when used to focus on improvement, can produce excellent results. Generally, it has been used to boost performance and improve quality effectively. Therefore, instead of wasting time watching what your neighbor is buying his woman, why not focus on what you can learn from that act. The right type of competition in relationships involves viewing certain couples as models in a particular area. This is not with the view to end up doing the same, but with the view of making your relationship better. If, for instance, your friend has received a car from her fiance, why not just appreciate that love is supposed to be creative. In future, you could find a way of incorporating creative acts of kindness in your relationship too.

When can competition go too far? 
Competition in a relationship can start going too far when you start comparing every aspect of your relationship with another couple with the view of outdoing them. In this case, you may not even care that much about what your partner feels when you make a decision as long as you end up on top of the competition. The scenario cited on the outset of this article is a typical example of competition being taken too far. Therefore, you would notice that you have taken competition wrongly when you see the following:

• The sniffing sensation: You always want to find out what the other couples have done for their spouses or what they plan to do in the near future with the view of beating them.
• Deep feeling of defeat:You usually feel defeated and betrayed when you fail to outdo what one of your friends did for their partner recently.
• The matchless couple: When it comes to staying on top of the competition, you can do whatever it takes to show your contemporaries that you are the hottest and incomparable couple around
• Exaggerations and bragging: You find it very easy to lie often times when bragging about your relationship and what you have achieved as a couple. 
• Extreme superiority complex: You usually feel that no one can ever do the awesome things you do for your partner, however hard they try!
• No regard for the cost: Even if the cost of challenging some of your friends may look too distant, you care less about such as long as you are pronounced the best.

In one way or another, we exhibit some of these traits occasionally, and it is normal. The problem comes when one or more of these qualities repeat themselves in your character several times. In fact, it is better to start working on them as soon as you notice any of them.

The balanced view of competition 
Whether you are still in a relationship or you have been married for some time, competition affects you in one way or another. But instead of feeling that you are not a victim, it is better to balance its view. As earlier stated, you can look at what other couples are doing with the view of strengthening your relationship, not winning the competition. Since no man is an island, there is nothing wrong with listening to advice as other couples openly tell you how they have managed to overcome certain challenges. Do not allow competition to turn a cherished relationship into a business partnership which constantly keeps an eye on the other competitors so they remain in business. Use the right competition to better your relationship or marriage.