What Plans Do You Have For Kids?

During courtship, many couples forget to discuss fully the number of children they wish to have, and when such children should be born. This means that children are born either accidentally, or spontaneously. Perhaps that is the reason why even buying fitting gifts usually becomes a challenge for many parents. When do you need to discuss matters related to kids and why?

The Ideal Number of Children
During courtship, you need to discuss the ideal number of kids that fits your circumstances. No one will come and tell you to have one kid, or two kids unless it is enshrined in the laws of your state or the traditions and practices of your land. You do not need to wait until you get married to discussion this matter with your partner. Naturally you need to discuss the future of the kids and your best aspirations. Then, this will remind you about your responsibility of making sure that they get a decent life you can afford. If you notice too many uncertainties, you need to limit the number of children only to what you can manage. Assess your situation and avoid making comparisons unnecessarily. 
Courtship or dating is the best time to start such discussions. At this time, you are relaxed and there are no other issues standing between the two of you. You make it easier to confront any problems that come in future from this area. When people start talking and relatives coming up with their suggestions, you will be ready to handle them adequately.  

What if you can't Have children 
Unfortunately, you may desire to have children but they aren't coming fourth. Some couples struggle with this problem for years. At this point, you need to accept the situation as it is and look for alternatives like adoption. This is no time to start tormenting the mate who seems to posses the main contributing factor to the problem at hand. If you make this a subject for heated quarrels, you will weaken your love and the problem is merely going to invite other complications.
On the other hand, as a couple, you may decide to remain childless. Whether this comes after you realize that you are unable to have children or before doesn't matter. What matters is the loving dialogue that will allow you to unite as a couple and live together happily. 

Face realities as they come
Instead of waiting for situations to come, you need to be mentally prepared for the future. Discuss well in advance how you would live if you fail to have children. Remember, you can enjoy a happy marriage even without having children. Never dissolve a marriage because you can't have kids; and never start an affair. This will complicate your life beyond your capacity, and you would wish you never even thought about such an option.




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