I am In Love With My Best Friend's Wife

For many years, she has been like a sister to you. But recently, you have developed feelings which can't be helped anymore. Whenever you see her, you almost want to hug her passionately. Even her voice causes your hair to stand, and with dilated eyes. What next? Those feelings won't just go away. No. should you act on them especially if you've noticed some positive indicators from her?

The ugly realities at hand

First, it is important to acknowledge the problem. You have started developing feeling for your best friend's wife. In  reality those feelings are no more than some misplaced crush! But that woman belongs to your best friend. Since this person is close to you, it is not easy to avoid her completely. But if you decide to start an affair with her, you can be sure that your best friend will hate you with a passion and don't be shocked when he also acts upon his hatred! If you don't do anything, the feelings will also just continue torturing you inside. What is the best way forward? In fact, the ugly reality is that even some of your efforts to stay away from her will just end up bringing the two of you together.

The golden rule is enough 

When you are truly offended one of the commonest reactions we put forward is, 'how would you feel if I did this to you?' Apply the golden rule on this issue. How would you feel if you discovered that your best friend was craving or lusting after your wife? It is a horrid thought. Therefore, while your feelings would still be there, look at the situation from your best friend's view point. He has invested in that marriage many years of sacrifice, love and commitment. In fact, that woman you are admiring made a vow to love him for the rest of her life! What God has put together, let no man put apart! The amount of embarrassment you will go through is nothing compared to the heartache your friend will experience if you were to follow your feelings. The respect and reputation will also be soiled when this comes to light. In fact, you will not die if you don't act upon those feelings. You will lose nothing either. Instead, consider taking further steps to sort out this problem successfully.  

Practical steps to correct the situation

There are many steps you can take to make sure that you keep away from this imminent danger and safeguard your dignity and life. The following suggestions might be of help:

• Keep a clear distance: Ensure that any communication with that woman is done either in the presence of your spouse, or in the presence of her husband.
• Adopt her as your sister: You can psychologically consider her to be your own sibling so that even when you address her, you use the title of sis and mean it!
• Meditate on the consequences: If you were to have an affair with that woman, you would lose your friends, and the respect society has for you together with relatives. What a shame! 
• Cut all private contacts with her: It could be that you developed feelings because you spent long hours chatting with her via social media, Facebook, WhatsApp, skype, Zoom, Meet, google duo, hangouts, or even the phone. Limit these strictly. If necessary, remove her from your contacts!
• Get the right help: When you keep this matter to yourself without talking about it, you will allow the feelings to continue burning till they explode. Talk to a mature elder, a trustworthy counselor or a trusted senior relative nearby.
• Act for your life: Anywhere you go around the globe, someone who entertains an affair with another man's wife is treated almost like a criminal. Therefore, take the right steps urgently to preserve your life! 
• Develop filler habits: Look around you and search for habits that used to bring the two of you together. It could be that you used to find her at the gym or eating place. Whatever place or habit that was, develop new habits and preferences to keep you out of harm's way.