How Many Children Should We Have?

Perhaps you have already decided to have two children. But some family and friends are suggesting that you need at least four, while others are also saying that you should just remain childless. Why do people decide to have children? What factors influence the number of children a couple should have? What is the right number of children for almost any couple? 

Why have children, anyway?

One of the commonest reasons why some couples decide to have children is to ensure that their family name lives on long after they are gone. Others also fathom the very idea of having a biological product of their own. The idea of having someone who calls you 'mum' or 'dad' is yet another small but powerful reason why some couples are motivated to have children. 

On the other hand, there are cultures around the globe that have adopted the practice of associating every marriage with children. Therefore, when a couple gets married, the clock starts ticking. The society around them will be expecting them to have a child. If a child is not coming forth, relatives will step in to find out why. In some cases, a marriage can even be annulled on such grounds! A good number of couples also remember that when they reach or approach the 90s, those children will be there to take care of them. 

Factors to consider before having children

If you are a married woman, you need to know how responsible the father of your children is before you can decide on the right number of children. Otherwise, if you have noted that your husband has, for many years, been failing to live up to his responsibilities, limit the number of children to what you can manage. The same principle applies to men. Conceiving a child is as simple as sleeping with someone and ensuring that you have unprotected sex. But fathering or mothering a child involves years of training and bringing up that child into a responsible adult. Therefore, your financial stability as a couple is also very important. If you cannot support a culturally preferred number of children to go to school, pay the medical bills and attend to other needs, then you are not ready to handle that number. Unless the culture that is making such recommendations will bear part of that responsibility or cost. But what is the actual number of children for almost any couple? 

The right number of children

Unfortunately, the right number of children can not be cast in concrete. In some communities it can even be ten. But in other places it can be one or zero and there are even pieces of legislation to guide in that area. However, before you decide to have one child or ten children, you need to answer these questions:

1. If I died today, how would my children be raised into responsible adults without problems? 
2. Will I manage to meet the needs of all my children and myself with my spouse with my sources of income?
3. With the unstable economies hitting hard, will we reach a point where we will be forced to put our kids out of school or give them up for adoption because we cant handle the number?
4. Is the number of children we intend to have within the provisions of the law of our state? 
5. As a couple, are we fully comfortable with this number of children?  

Remember, this is not a decision you have to make alone. You need to decide as a couple. No one should feel compelled to make this decision for you because in the end it will be the two of you who will have to live up to your responsibilities. Therefore, the ideal number of children for any couple is the one each couple exhaustively agrees to safely maintain. If you decide to have no children, no one should coerce you to change your stance because you, as a couple, are the best people to make that decision.