Can A Woman Ask The Big Question?
In the majority of traditions, customs and practices around the world, the answer to the above question is 'No.' It even tallies with the realities ahead because the man will be the head of the home you are starting. But what if the man is shy, reluctant yet sure, naturally timid on serious issues or the woman has just assessed that it is the right time? Should the woman still wait for the man to ask?
Why are most women afraid to take up this step?
Firstly, the majority of traditions around the world hold the view that the woman who asks directly for a man's hand in marriage is a prostitute, an immoral woman with no values, or simply a sex-maniac pretending to be serious with life. In addition to these factors, most women avoid due to one or more of the following factors:
If you are in a society that does not view women asking men's hand in marriage as normal, then you have to be ready for the reaction from society the around. But society reacts to almost anything that comes in contact with it - including neutrality on issues :) Therefore, if your man has the quality you deserve, and you have all the perceivable indicators that you truly love each other, and the timing is right, do not worry about society. The members of society will eventually come to terms with your step - if they will have any tangible effect at all. On the other hand, do not surprise your man. Let him understand the spirit in which you are taking that step. Otherwise some men might feel demeaned instead of sharing your joyous view.
What about your families, will they keep quiet? Most civilised families can have no problems if they know there is no hidden string to the step you have taken. Make him understand that you love and respect him deeply as you man and head; and the step you are taking will not subtract anything from that. If all the factors are right and he seems to be unnecessarily dragging his feet for no reason, help him out with love by asking him to marry you - the big question!
Break the barriers effectively
Mostly, discouragements and negative feedback that can derail the process and a relationship are vested in the people close to you. Never underestimate the damage a small comment made by such people in the presence of your make can have on your relationship and future. Prepare their minds in advance by finding a way of giving them an idea about what you want to do and find out how they feel about the whole matter. If some of them come out too negatively, it might be time to use some of the techniques you have used on odesk to convince critical employers about your skills. Remember, any sensible and wisdomatic step taken in love is never regrettable. The next article will discuss what happens when your man refuses to accept your proposal!
Why are most women afraid to take up this step?
Firstly, the majority of traditions around the world hold the view that the woman who asks directly for a man's hand in marriage is a prostitute, an immoral woman with no values, or simply a sex-maniac pretending to be serious with life. In addition to these factors, most women avoid due to one or more of the following factors:
- Fear of rejection; They imagine the pain and anguish that can come if the man refuses.
- Wrongful assumption of headship; Some feel that it may portray arrogance and lack of submission to the future husband, and they don't dare take up his first role.
- Allowing free will; Some women feel that, the man should decide on his own without being influenced in any way. They fear that taking such a step might coerce him to accept against his will.
- Maintaining true quality; other women also feel that, by not asking they present their high quality to their men who will not associate them with man-addicts in any way.
- Community embarrassment: The very notion of becoming the talk of the town after you have taken this step - either negatively or positively - startles some women.
If you are in a society that does not view women asking men's hand in marriage as normal, then you have to be ready for the reaction from society the around. But society reacts to almost anything that comes in contact with it - including neutrality on issues :) Therefore, if your man has the quality you deserve, and you have all the perceivable indicators that you truly love each other, and the timing is right, do not worry about society. The members of society will eventually come to terms with your step - if they will have any tangible effect at all. On the other hand, do not surprise your man. Let him understand the spirit in which you are taking that step. Otherwise some men might feel demeaned instead of sharing your joyous view.
What about your families, will they keep quiet? Most civilised families can have no problems if they know there is no hidden string to the step you have taken. Make him understand that you love and respect him deeply as you man and head; and the step you are taking will not subtract anything from that. If all the factors are right and he seems to be unnecessarily dragging his feet for no reason, help him out with love by asking him to marry you - the big question!
Break the barriers effectively
Mostly, discouragements and negative feedback that can derail the process and a relationship are vested in the people close to you. Never underestimate the damage a small comment made by such people in the presence of your make can have on your relationship and future. Prepare their minds in advance by finding a way of giving them an idea about what you want to do and find out how they feel about the whole matter. If some of them come out too negatively, it might be time to use some of the techniques you have used on odesk to convince critical employers about your skills. Remember, any sensible and wisdomatic step taken in love is never regrettable. The next article will discuss what happens when your man refuses to accept your proposal!
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