Should I Marry Someone Who Already Has A Child?

In many cultures marrying a woman who already has a child has been viewed as a serious anomaly, even taboo. This is because some people who have married partners who already had children have gone through some difficulties. On the other hand, such relationships have also worked successfully. What difficulties should you prepare for in such a relationship? How can a marriage with such a background succeed? 

The challenges right ahead
If you have fallen in love with a partner who already has a child from some past relationship, you can to be sure that there are some challenges you are yet to face. The list below brings out a number of them:
  • Negative comments from people: Many people, especially those close to you, will call you names for going into such a relationship, and speak negatively against your decision.  
  • Cultural myths and beliefs: In some cultures, such a step can even lead to you being avoided by some relatives and friends because it is taboo.
  • An extra responsibility: Since you love that person, it means you have to take care of that child as if you are the biological father. You have to extend your love for that person to the child too.
  • Prepare for Custodial arrangements: The other biological parent of the child who is your partner's ex has the right to see that child. Ensure that you abide by what the law stipulates.
  • A gamble worth your attempt: The fact that you are going to raise the child does not mean that he will have no right to go and look for his biological father or mother. If the child decides to do so, don't stop him.
  • Dealing with your partner's ex: Whenever the biological owner of the child comes, who is also your partner's ex, you have to agree on how that person should be handled without bringing suspicions, and other avoidable tensions in your marriage. 
How Can I make it work?
In the first place, you have to be concerned about the foundation of that marriage. Your aim should not be merely to marry someone who already has a child or someone who simply does not have a child. No. Marry someone you love from the bottom of your heart and from your innermost self, and that person reciprocates that love and affection. This will make it easy for you to make all the adjustments needed to meet the above mentioned challenges and many more which will kepp coming in your marriage. 
Remember, it is not wise to avoid talking about that child or children you have found in the marriage. Discuss all the sensitive aspects and take your time to ensure that you are actually on the same page with your partner. This minor, but serious, difference should not be a matter which your partner will use to disrespect you. In fact, such a matter should even bring you closer as a loving couple and foster deep respect. Just like in any other relationship, if you engage your partner who loves you as much as you love him/her, it will work just as it has worked for many people around the globe. 

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