Real Relationship Issues Today

Samuel came home drunk and battered his wife when she delayed serving his meal. The following morning, she never talked to him as he left for work, but when he came back from work, he gave her a bunch of flowers which she threw in his face. The main question is, can you apologize with the presentation of a fitting gift? Why apologize? Upon looking at some factors that lead to apologies, it is very clear that deep emotions are involved. An apology comes in to mend an emotional wound that has been caused, and thus even the remedy should be related to that. If you insulted someone and then you bring the best packed lunch for them, what message are you sending? It is like congratulating them for receiving the insults! That is why you need to focus on the reason behind your apology. It is meant to resolve emotional matters, not to supplement some material cravings! When should A gift be presented? The right time to present your gift is monitored by the circumstances surro...

Wendy was in a relationship when her boyfriend started demanding for sex persistently. Her mother had told her never to open up to any man before marriage. But when she consulted her friends, they were even shocked that she was still a virgin at 21 and they encouraged her to go ahead. We will come back to the story later. Modern society has come to accept that when two people truly love each other, sex is acceptable even before getting married. Who is telling the truth? Your friends and certain elders will tell you that you can only show your man how much you love him by sleeping with him. But people who have brought you up - mum and dad - will be of the view that you wait for your marriage mate. Who is telling the truth? Firstly, you may need to ask it this way, "Whose word would you trust between your parents' and friends'?" Our friends are filled with the youthful passion and they are too inexperienced to be trusted. In fact, the majority of them will tell you t...

One man's meat can be another man's poison just as one woman's rose can be another woman's garbage. People differ by their tastes and it is not possible to expect your spouse to like what someone else does. Never work on assumptions, get to know your best friend closely. Unmistakable signs to look out for When your spouse or lover speaks, listen and focus on how they react to some products and ideas. If, for instance, you were to buy your woman the Latest Iphone on the market, how would she feel? To get the answer, you can ask her informally and see how she responds. On the other hand, if you were to buy your man a plain Long Sleeved Shirt Or Sunglasses, how would he respond? Perhaps you already have the answer if you have tried this in the past. Look at the kind of items your spouse likes buying or tries to buy many times. In some cases, you may not need a gift to make your lover happy. You could think of helping your lover to discover the advantages of online mark...

In the year 2012 you noticed so many things that went wrong. These have even overshadowed the best moments you had as you carry out your review. Many questions still linger in your mind about the objectives you set at the beginning of 2012 as a couple. Perhaps you wanted to Reduce Your Weight drastically, but nothing worked. Maybe you just wanted to prepare a Surprise package for your parents , spouse, or best friends? Now that 2013  is just about to start, how do you intend to spend it as a couple? The best New year resolutions for couples One of the best goals you can set for 2013 is to show love to people who truly matter in your life - starting with your parents and kids. This naturally makes it easy to achieve a variety of objectives because no man is an island. Remember some of the most difficult times you have had with your spouse or fiance during the year 2012. Do not just focus on how heartbroken you have been as a result of such events. Try to focus on the lessons yo...

Love and infatuation have one serious fact in common: They both come with real passion and serious fondness. The craving that the partners have for each other normally appears indistinguishable. The danger is that you may end making a serious decision with someone who is just infatuated by you and at some point reality will reveal that you are in a loveless relationship. But to be safe, you have to identify the unmistakable signs of infatuation. Unmistakable signs of infatuation To begin with, infatuation also has the same outward display of attachment as real love. But look out for the following sure signs or indicators:    1.    Show and boastful: The person who is infatuated tries their best to show off extensively what they appreciate about you. Even the kind of introductions will show    2.    Hates being on the spot: This partner will try by all means to avoid soul-searching and serious questions that will put them on the spot...

You have come to find that whenever you are with your spouse, there is always something you are quarreling about. Sometimes the quarrels are so intense that you go for some period without talking to each other. Or perhaps you have even come to find that all the efforts you make in trying to resolve your differences always end up adding more complications. Where have you gone wrong? What is the best way forward? Where did you go wrong? First, if you are always fighting, there has to be a series of serious issues that you have not sorted out. This is characteristic of relationships and marriages where partners have a habit of postponing finding solutions to problems. Most of them think that by ignoring or just waiting for a later date to sort out a problem, things will sort themselves out. Things never sort themselves out. After some time, a small misunderstanding finally matures into a serious problem. Think about having suspicions that your mat...

You might think religion has no effect on a marriage or a relationship. But that is a very serious mistake. Religion has its own way of influencing a marriage and it can not be ignored just like that. Many have tried to ignore it, but the consequences have been able to catch up with them. In some religions, your spouse will always be away from home on certain days and you will not fully understand why. But you have to live with it. The hard pill you need to swallow If you marry someone who does not share your faith, you can even agree to respect each other's beliefs. But think about what will happen during funerals: You will be forced to confront the realities of belonging to different faiths. Some religions have ways of mourning which will be in stack contrast with what you believe in. In other instances, your mate will just make serious decisions that will be in total disagreement with your conscience. Are you going to strongly oppose or swallow it? You will als...

She has stuck with you in times of trouble and in times of real joy. In fact, she has made the year fly like a humming bird. But now, you need to take her to some place where you can enjoy your vacation in peace and thank her for being there for you when you needed her most. In the meantime, why not start by treating her to some Green Tea so that she can be in her healthiest state. Brainstorm your key plans First, please don't strain yourself. You have a whole life ahead of you and you will have more to spend even after the vacation. Therefore, focus on what you can afford. In this case, you have to start looking at your local setting and search out what can really interest your spouse. In some cases, you can plan to visit locales that have live bands and greenery that reflects the beauty of mother nature. If you will be using your car, make sure you have enough Vehicle spare parts - especially wheels - just in case. But if you have already saved enough and perh...

A man had taken his wife on a surprise dinner outing to a classic hotel. But whilst there, she accidentally tipped a bowl of soup which emptied its contents on his suit. In a fit of anger, he groaned, 'Are you such a careless fool, huh! Sometimes I wonder why I was so desperate as to end up with you!' She immediately left the hotel and that was the last he saw of her. Words can build a relationship or strengthen it. They can also be used to bless a king and most importantly we use them even to praise God. But the same words can tear lovers apart, and break a relationship; they can be used to insult a king and sin against God. The secret lies in how you use them. Put your tongue under control It is always important that before you utter a word, you think over it more than once. Others can even tell you that it is better to endure physical abuse than receive the pain of harsh words. To be successful, it is better to use the ratio 2:1 (Two to one). Listen twice as...

You have noticed that your spouse continues gaining weight while you watch helplessly. You need to do something and save your spouse from this problem. If that overweight body was to cause complications leading to serious health issues, your conscience would never rest if you don't do your part. You do not need to be a disciplinarian with your spouse. Just be realistic, helpful and encouraging all the time. Quick exercise suggestions for your spouse Have you noticed some outdoor activities that your wife enjoys? It could be that your wife enjoys some jogging or table tennis. Ladies, how would he respond if you took him to the gym? Or have you ever tried that? Apart from identifying the needed exercise to keep your spouse active and off the sofa, you also need to be careful to select the kind of exercise that your mate will enjoy without straining or toiling too much. Some couples decide to take a walk together to visit some relatives in the vicinity ...

They talk about almost anything they suspect or know about you. Some of them even sacrifice their precious time. As long as you are still on this planet existing, people have to talk about you. The only difference is that some of them will foster negative gossip meant to attack your dignity and destroy your relationship. Why do they talk about you? The fact that you are still alive and existing where people can see you is enough for them to start talking about you. In fact even if you died today, they will still remain talking about you whenever they remember. But the other reason they may have is that you are prospering in one area or the other, and they seem to be failing to reach your level no matter how they try. They look at how your relationship has stabilised, but they cant figure out how you manage. However, some of them might have genuine concerns that highlight serious problems they have seen which you are not able to see. What is the best ap...

First, it needs to be made very clear that dowry is not money paid in order for a woman to be sold from her parents to her husband. No! At the same time, it is not a financial transaction that is priced according to the value of the commodity on sale. Otherwise, if you think you paid K50,000,000 ($10,000) as dowry, sorry, that is not even enough to buy certain designs of cars! The amount paid as dowry, in whatever form, is a minute or negligible fraction of what the bride is worth. Therefore, the act  of paying dowry is a gesture of seeking authorization from the bride's parents to approve the marriage. Who should have a say in it? Traditions around the globe are diverse. But, basically, the paying of dowry or bride price signifies the start of a new family. Therefore, the people getting married should have a say, in one way or another, on the dowry. This makes the negotiating process easier, and convenient. You can do this by ensuring that yo...

  When you were dating she used to cling on you and hug you whenever you met. After you got married she even used to kiss you passionately. But now you can't remember the last time she kissed you. When you try to hug her, she shrugs you off. What is the problem? How can you normalize matters? Where have you gone wrong? Firstly, she can behave like that if there are serious problems between you. Do you always quarrel and fight? Or is there some issue that causes constant fights? The psychological aspect is very important as it also makes it easy for you to correct your matters. If the psychological part is not sorted out, then your very sight is going to be disgusting. But what if such issues are not there and she has even confessed? Women normally speak either by their actions or some words that might be indicative of what they are thinking. In fact the body language normally has the best message for you. Listen to her when she complains about you - esp...

Breaking up is associated with deep pain and heartbreaks. Most people find it difficult to move on after a break up. What makes it difficult to move on? Is revenge the best solution? How can you start a new life after a breakup? Why is It So Hard to Move On? You dated this person for a long time and, naturally, you had serious future plans together. But most importantly, you opened your heart and came to fall in love with this person. Even though you decided to break up, your deep emotions are still vested in this person. And moving on is not going to be easy, but it must be done because it is the only option left. Whenever you feel lonely, the fond memories of the nice times you spent together replay in your mind. Sometimes, you blame yourself for the breakup with the view that if you had done things differently, the story could be different by now. In short, if you share rich memories, moving on is not an easy undertaking.  It could be that your former lover - you...

 Rebound relationships start shortly after someone goes through a break up. The heartbroken one looks for a shoulder to cry on with the view of alleviating the pain. Mostly such relationships involve someone using another person for personal gain. Another Heartbreak in the Making  Rebound relationships can be compared to the use of a soothing mechanism like a block of ice when you are burnt or a bandage when you are injured. When the pain goes away, you have to throw away that bandage and move on. Similarly, such relationships come to an end when the heartbroken partner heals completely or has made steady progress in the healing process. In addition, the choice of a partner is not based on true love, it is based on the anguish of disappointment from the previous relationship. The mind attempts to prove that this person is still lovable and can do better than was portrayed by the previous heart breaker. In all this, you can notice that another heartbre...

You have met someone who is very hard working, mature, and perhaps with a lot of wealth and intelligence. The only problem is that you are not romantically attracted to this person. Even the fact that you get along well has merely left you regarding this person as a sibling friend. What role does romantic attraction play in a marriage? What would happen if you married this person? What if you are already married to such a person? The role played by romantic attraction  In any happy marriage, intimacy is enjoyed, and it needs to be there. But the intimacy that is found here is fueled by romantic feelings and the attraction that comes with it. In the end, a husband feels a special or unique attachment to his wife because of the attraction he has towards her and the same applies to the wife.  This intimacy is not shared among mere friends or relatives. A husband feels a special  or unique attachment to his wife  because of the attraction he has towar...

Friends can make us or break us. In fact they can be made in minutes but keeping them requires serious, and consistent effort. Sometimes, we go through problems because we chose wrong friends, and we ended up associating with bad groups. However, since not every good person can be your friend, then who makes a true friend?         Who makes a true friend? A true friend should be someone who knows you better than many other people and can easily stand up for you when times are rough. Such a person should have the following qualities: Should trust you reasonably: This person should know you enough to have a reasonable amount of trust in you. No fanaticism involved. An auxiliary consultant: A true friend should be a consultant in some situations. This person should provide genuine guidance when needed. A good listener: Sometimes this person should just listen as you pour your heart and express your feelings. This usually applies usually when the problem ...

During courtship, many couples forget to discuss fully the number of children they wish to have, and when such children should be born. This means that children are born either accidentally, or spontaneously. Perhaps that is the reason why even buying fitting gifts usually becomes a challenge for many parents. When do you need to discuss matters related to kids and why? The Ideal Number of Children During courtship, you need to discuss the ideal number of kids that fits your circumstances. No one will come and tell you to have one kid, or two kids unless it is enshrined in the laws of your state or the traditions and practices of your land. You do not need to wait until you get married to discussion this matter with your partner. Naturally you need to discuss the future of the kids and your best aspirations. Then, this will remind you about your responsibility of making sure that they get a decent life you can afford. If you notice too many...

Even if you spend huge sums of money trying to repair the cracked walls and leaking roof, if the foundation is poor, your building can eventually collapse. Similarly, a relationship that is based on a weak foundation can eventually go down. More should be invested in the foundation of a relationship , not just gifts, so that it can be able to handle the shock-waves of life's anxieties, challenges, and problems. What constitutes a bad foundation? A bad foundation can be seen in the way you meet your spouse and how well you come to know each other in the long run. In any relationship foundation techniques  and scenarios also matter. If you have a habit of starting relationships by the roadside, there are huge chances that you can end up with wrong partners that are merely after what you can offer. Apart from that, if a relationship becomes intimate at a wrong time, you can easily lose focus and objectivity. This may result in making wrong choices. Therefor...

When they got married, Susan loved her husband so much that they used to enjoy having sex almost every night. Three months later, she started looking for every excuse to deny him sex. It was like an automobile in need of new spares and a new start. Common reasons behind wives denying husbands sex This problem is not unique to certain parts of the world. It is everywhere, the only difference is that, in some areas it is more prevalent. Some of the commonest reasons for this behavior include;    Unresolved issues at home: Most women who deny their husbands sex complain about the many problems that remain unresolved in their marriage. Poor or no communication: Instead of having a free flow of healthy and loving communication, most partners keep serious matters to themselves and end up invoking quarrels instead of communicating. Punishing the husband: Some women use sex denying husbands complain about as a weapon to punish them for the mistakes and wro...

Most women complain that almost all men cheat on their spouses. Could it be said that some have taken advantage of the affordability managed websites offering freely services to support their affairs? How do men start cheating on their spouses? What are some supporting factors that urge them on? Why do they cheat? Should we blame technology? At the moment, technology has been used even in a negative way to support illicit affairs around the world. The developers of such products aim at supporting the creation of Websites that promote human dignity and chastity. This can even be seen in the way domain names are offered. But somewhere along the line, the desire for more profit leaves technology the real culprit for supporting men cheating on their spouses. The sophisticated nature of recent developments in technology can thus be blamed partly.  How do men start cheating? Men who cheat on their spouses for a prolonged period do not merely start by some whim. So...

You can help a man who is attracted to you, to make a step not merely by showing off the curves around your body as you put on some revealing attire; or putting on a mini-skirt that nearly exposes your underwear – indecent exposure. Add real value to your body language . Value addition to your character When you expose your body in order to attract men, you merely invite lust-crazed men to come after you. The value addition to your body language should focus on bettering your character with qualities like humility, self control and wisdom. As you work hard to clear your weaknesses in these areas, a serious man will appreciate the quality you possess and take you for life. Such men are easily put off when they see women who go about showing their bodies like sex-passion display objects. When You Expose Your Body, You Only Attract Flies Which Are Not Easy To Chase Away When you adopt a certain type of attire, you may not even know what it is associated with. All you may u...

Y ou are already engaged to this person. But you are also having several intimate virtual friends on facebook; and you are already about to give in to a secret admirer who has been following you around. The last time you met, things went too far and you are sure this trend is likely to continue for some time. Can you correct matters and stop cheating on your mate ? Make The First Decisive step With Social Networks Social networking is a problem when it comes to multiple partners – especially if you have hundreds upon thousands of friends. Take your first step by cutting your links with unnecessary friends who are ever putting you at risk – especially those of the opposite gender. Control the quality of friends that you have on social networks like facebook, and do not leave this matter to chance. Otherwise, you will even see the insanity and indecency some of them can easily post. It is better to have a small number of quality online friends than amass crazy ones who might cause y...

When listing the qualities of the partner you want, one of the critical factors featured is education. Most men prefer women who are educated enough. Not too educated to beat them by far. A good number of Women also prefer men who are more educated than them. In reality this kind of thinking is tested by the realities that couple goes through. Why Is Education Needed? Firstly, a partner who has the basic education which enables him to read and write will be able to understand instructions, warnings and other communication that is vital for keeping the family safe. In addition, a partner who is educated commands respect from society by virtue of his/her status. In fact, most partners look at it in terms of sustenance. the educated mate can get a job or start up something of his own easily, as compared to one who has never been to school. Therefore, education is important in a relationship. How Should Education Be treated In Your Relationship? Education does not guarantee t...

It is possible to end a relationship without breaking your hearts . Many have done it and you can do it if that is the right way to go. Unmistakable Signs Of A Possible Breakup Remember, a relationship should eventually lead to marriage. Therefore, if you are dating someone whose qualities leave more questions than answers, then you reconsider your relationship. In some relationships, you may find that you fight many times without pointing to a tangible reason for such. If you have both tried your best to resolve the situation and nothing is getting resolved, and you seem to have too many problems with each other, then you need to decide on your own that the relationship should actually end. But even if you had a bad relationship, just break the relationship not someone’s heart.    How To Prepare For A successful breakup If you are sure this is the right course to take, it is about time you started getting ready for a breakup . Arrange for a time when the two of you ...

She comes close to you while you immediately hold your breath avoiding the choking air coming from her mouth as she speaks. But she is not aware, so she continues learning closer to you in her usual romantic way as she speaks. You have been waiting for the right opportunity to tell her, but it doesn’t seem to be coming. This article can even be applied to men with similar issues. Where Do You Start From? Telling your girl about this problem can not just be done abruptly. You need to be very tactful yet honest, considerate, helpful and loving. Is this the time you need to buy her a present? When she hears about her bad breath, she is likely to toss it in your face. Prepare her mind psychologically, by asking for forgiveness in advance; and reminding her that what you are going to say is going to hurt. Do not keep her anticipating. Say it in as polite and loving a tone as you can – basing on the way you know her. Ask her if anyone has ever mentioned it to her? Whatever the reaction...

In many cultures marrying a woman who already has a child has been viewed as a serious anomaly, even taboo. This is because some people who have married partners who already had children have gone through some difficulties. On the other hand, such relationships have also worked successfully. What difficulties should you prepare for in such a relationship? How can a marriage with such a background succeed?  The challenges right ahead If you have fallen in love with a partner who already has a child from some past relationship, you can to be sure that there are some challenges you are yet to face. The list below brings out a number of them: Negative comments from people: Many people, especially those close to you, will call you names for going into such a relationship, and speak negatively against your decision.   Cultural myths and beliefs: In some cultures, such a step can even lead to you being avoided by some relatives and friends because it is taboo. An extra r...

This can be very damaging emotionally because you took that step with the hope of getting a positive result. Perhaps, if you had known, you could have avoided it. One woman almost committed suicide when her man turned down her proposal ! How should such a matter be handled? Prepare For Any Answer The pain of your marriage proposal being turned down is lessened when you prepare for a negative response. You have taken a brave step which might easily make him act without reasoning properly in some cases. If you are mentally prepared, you will find it easier to respect his decision and move on. You can also find solace in knowing that if there is true love between the two of you, your paths will still cross with positive results in your favor as a couple and you will still end up together. Never Blame Yourself Blaming yourself for his decision to reject your proposal is a very torturous way of handling this matter. This leads to severe depression and can even cause you to develop sui...